What brings out the worst in you?
What is it that starts the ball rolling for you to ‘lose it’ and react without thinking; of consequences, of results, of objectives, of being hurtful or not, of anything but reacting, and sometimes totally out of proportion to whatever is happening or being said?
Then you feel bad.
‘Hot buttons’ and ‘triggers’
Yes, it is these ‘nasties’; the hot buttons and triggers that set us off – but they are cloaked in other ‘stuff’ you know, hiding behind closet doors. Surely if you really knew what caused these eruptions, you would be able to do something about it to some degree or other?
Symptoms, not the cause
They are the symptom, not the cause. Some expectation, rule, or base assumption makes you think (without your conscious knowledge) “this is wrong, very wrong”… [e.g. something is threatening your sense of who you are and what you believe in, or someone is trying to take something away from you] – and so you react, and off you go.
Something needs protecting
You see it (the scenario) as a threat and then you have to protect yourself.
But if you do not know what it is that is threatened, there is nothing you can do about it is there? And, if you don’t know why, that does not help things either. Your logical mind can tell you all kinds of things and you know this and that, and yet, as soon as that specific scenario presents itself… there you go again!
Reactions that cause you pain
You have been going through these (e)motions in some way or another for as long as you have been alive, so you have had a lot of practice, which means you are pre-disposed for it to recur. It will take a bit of effort to change the circuit boards. But if you do not know which circuit boards to change, it can be a bugger.
Most of what we do to alleviate this behavior is a bit like alopathic medicine in a way, treating the symptoms rather than the cause, or like putting a band aid when you actually need open heart surgery.
You have to catch yourself out, stop yourself, before ‘it’ happens. As soon as you can create space between the trigger and the reaction, you then have time to choose whether to react, or to respond more appropriately. (This takes some time to implement, but is absolutely do-able.)
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Yours in awakening the Genius Within
“Life is the art of drawing sufficient conclusions from insufficient premises.” – Samuel Butler
Previous Newsletter Edition: What You resist, persists
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