Abuse of recreational drugs and alcohol, as well as workaholism, obsessive exercising, excessive television, videos and movie watching, compulsive overeating, and gambling are all examples of addictive behavior, and not only bad for your health, but also bad for relationships.
Addictions, compulsions, obsessions and habits
Most of us have some, if not all of the above. We might not even recognize it as such, but if you persist in doing something that you decided to stop doing, it indicates that there is something you are not aware of, or, if people are repeatedly / constantly complaining about behaviour of yours that is affecting them negatively in some way or other, and you do absolutely nothing about it, then there is probably a bit of a compulsion going on there.
Sure, you are not responsible for another’s happiness nor do you need to pander to their insecurities and fears (do not make their problems yours), but if you made a commitment to them and you really have their best interests at heart, there are benevolent ways to deal with it where everyone benefits.
The most common addictions are alcohol, drugs, television, exercise, computer games, gambling and betting, sex, and work. Your level of dependency; frequency and duration of over-indulgence also has a lot to do with how acceptable or unacceptable it is to others, and obviously their involvement (how they encourage or discourage it) has a lot to do with it as well. Some of the addictions are better than others in terms of what it does for your body.
So when is it a habit, a compulsion, an obsession, or an addiction?
A habit can be changed quite readily with enough incentive, awareness, intention and attention, whereas an addiction is more difficult, because it usually has a chemical component that you crave, however, this too can be overcome as AA members can vouch. An obsession is usually the result of some fearful experience or association that caused a hiccup in your brain and causes a short circuit each time it is activated. The way to address this is to short circuit the short circuit, which means it can also be changed with enough consideration, reframing and other practices. Compulsion is all of the above, meaning that there is some pressure to do something or avoid something. In all cases there is a trigger that initiates the behaviour.
Want to find out where you sit on the continuum?
Alcohol:
- What is the longest period you have given up?
- What happens when you are unable to get your chosen drink?
- What time of the day do you have your first drink?
- When do you stop?
- Are you a social drinker, but get blotto each time you are with your ‘friends’?
- Do you wake up in the morning and can’t remember what you did the night before, can’t remember how you got into this bed nor who it is you are in bed with?
Recreational drugs:
- What is the longest period you have given up?
- What happens when you are unable to get your ‘fix’ / medication?
- What ‘tricks’ do you do to get your drugs?
- Sell your body
- Do special favors
- Beg, steal, borrow, re-appropriate, kill, lie, cheat, etc.
- have more than one doctor prescribing medication?
- get it illegally
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